Last night, I was giving my brother some advice. We were talking and after the conversation, I gave a very satisfied nod, then went to bed. It wasn't until I was lying in bed, reviewing the day's events, that I had realized. Oh my goodness. I just told my brother how to live his life. Wait, what!? No. That's what my mom does. That's what my dad does. That is NOT what I do!
But I did. In the tone that, to me sounded helpful and inviting, I had told my OLDER brother how to live his life. Without malice, I told my brother what to change about him.
I panicked. I emailed a mentor of mine immediately. She said something enlightening, yet simple because I had heard it before.
So, I'm going to share. Because, through my huge mistake, I take away greater understanding.
We're all on a journey. All of us. We're all in different parts in our life and all are seeking different things in life. Some people are okay where they are right now and are just living life. Some people are looking for the next step. Some people are trying to get used to the new step they just took. And that's only covering PART of it. Not to mention some people are working on being more happy. Some are working on being more responsible. Some are working on giving up a vice. I mean, we're all working on ourselves constantly! Which is great and wonderful because we never actually stop growing.
So! When people ask advice, it's best to actually share my experience with the thing their bringing up, and see what they take from it. The whole telling them what to do thing, apparently, doesn't actually work. I know because when people tell me how to live my life, I get kind of angry and ignore the. So, why would I expect my brother to act differently (though he did take it very well)?
She also pointed out that a lot of the time, the advice we give is actually what we are highlighting for ourselves to work on. Like where our heart is in most. Like finding happiness. Loving self. Better eating habits. The list goes on. And I cringe with each mention of something because I realize the amount of "advice" I've given to so many people.
Face-palm.
But it's good! Because now I understand.
Now I just have to, like realize when I'm doing it and stop. And, instead of giving advice, I share my experience instead of working on fixing the person.
Gotta take the log out of my eye before I can take the speck of sawdust out of the other guy's eye, right?
Woo!
Mary Taylor
But I did. In the tone that, to me sounded helpful and inviting, I had told my OLDER brother how to live his life. Without malice, I told my brother what to change about him.
I panicked. I emailed a mentor of mine immediately. She said something enlightening, yet simple because I had heard it before.
So, I'm going to share. Because, through my huge mistake, I take away greater understanding.
We're all on a journey. All of us. We're all in different parts in our life and all are seeking different things in life. Some people are okay where they are right now and are just living life. Some people are looking for the next step. Some people are trying to get used to the new step they just took. And that's only covering PART of it. Not to mention some people are working on being more happy. Some are working on being more responsible. Some are working on giving up a vice. I mean, we're all working on ourselves constantly! Which is great and wonderful because we never actually stop growing.
So! When people ask advice, it's best to actually share my experience with the thing their bringing up, and see what they take from it. The whole telling them what to do thing, apparently, doesn't actually work. I know because when people tell me how to live my life, I get kind of angry and ignore the. So, why would I expect my brother to act differently (though he did take it very well)?
She also pointed out that a lot of the time, the advice we give is actually what we are highlighting for ourselves to work on. Like where our heart is in most. Like finding happiness. Loving self. Better eating habits. The list goes on. And I cringe with each mention of something because I realize the amount of "advice" I've given to so many people.
Face-palm.
But it's good! Because now I understand.
Now I just have to, like realize when I'm doing it and stop. And, instead of giving advice, I share my experience instead of working on fixing the person.
Gotta take the log out of my eye before I can take the speck of sawdust out of the other guy's eye, right?
Woo!
Mary Taylor
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