The Influence of People

      As humans, we are awesome at letting other things affect us. I think that's what makes us so awesome, actually! We can be the toughest of the tough, but we always let things affect us. Whether their small, like the coffee being too strong. Or big, like a new found love. No matter what it is, we are affected. Which means we affect others. No matter what we say or do. It's probably affected someone in some capacity, one way or another. So, why do we let things affect us? And how do we know how we're affecting others?

      In one of my classes, my professor is all about keeping your own energy, accepting others', while still being grounded in your own. So, like, just because someone is sad, does not mean you have to be sad the rest of your day. And to some extent, I totally agree with her. We let other peoples' moods affect ours and, in some cases, can ruin out day. Or make it better. Instead of living in your own mood and accepting others, as opposed to embodying the other person's. However, when someone's energy is awesome and it lifts you up, I think that's awesome and should be celebrated.

      Today, after my morning class, I went to WalMart to get some class essentials. And, in general, when a morning trip to the store happens, I feel awesomely accomplished! Like yes, let's do this day right! It always brings my mood up and I am always pumped for the rest of the day, even if I don't get anything. Just getting off campus and seeing strangers living their lives and navigating morning trips to the store, it's awesome to me! And this morning was no different. I got on the MITS bus, ready to tackle this WalMart trip! Then some tweenagers in the back of the bus (where I was sitting) kept going on and on about skipping school and running away and snitching on friends and stuff. Which put me in this weird state of mind about if I ever have kids and stuff. Then, I arrived at WalMart. I got a Subway sandwich (like you do) and went about my Mary way to get my class essentials (plus some craft stuff that was on sale. Holla). I checked out, everything was great. So, it was time to wait for the MITS bus again. And some Muncie locals were also waiting. Muncie locals get a bad name around campus because BSU students get freaked out by Muncie culture. However, I tend to understand the the Wabash boys probably think the same about my hometown, so I tend not to take part in that conversation too much. But this morning, there were a few Muncie locals that carried weird energies. A couple arguing, a man with orange pants (which were actually kind of cool) and just a sweatshirt on, a man trying way too hard to keep a conversation going with me. They all affected how I felt about my morning WalMart trip. My productivity feeling turned to "what have I gotten myself into?" feeling.

      Of course, the day did end up being good, but why did I let those menial things affect me? I mean, I'm all for getting all those bad emotions out, even if it's in public. So why would an arguing couple upset me? And I generally love conversation, so why was this guy bothering me? And orange pants. I mean those are cool!

      Sometimes, you can't help but get affected by your surroundings. But there are also times when self-reflection and inner-peace can be so useful. This morning is a good example of how I could have used some inner-peace.

      All that said, though we live our own lives cannot be held responsible for everyone's well-being, Jesus taught us to love unconditionally. All people. Love all people. Is an act of love attempting to make a space as loving, accepting, and peaceful for all around? Could a simple gesture of breathing instead of screaming at your partner if only to make the surroundings peaceful be an act of kindness? Of course, there are situations when you need need need to let it out for your own health and safety. However, I propose that we can create goodness and love in keeping a space as loving as we can. I also propose that we can stop a lot of bad energies or weird energies from affecting us totally.

      Instance where I am not keeping my inner-peace, my mouse is acting like crazy right now and keeps right-clicking when I'm not and won't let me regularly click and it was driving me up a wall! (breathing) But, I shall restore inner-peace and remember that it actually won't kill me.

      So, what else can we do in acts of love? What's the extent? Are we in charge of keeping other people in a peaceful mindset? Can we be more aware of when we might be affecting someone in a bad way, and can we prevent that? Sometimes it's a battle that is bigger. But in those cases, to keep the love for yourself and others, seeking the necessary help is essential.

      I think we often forget how we can affect others. Meaning, I think we constantly need to be reminded. We are too busy living our lives to remember, but remembering might lead to a peaceful, more loving life in our lives. So, isn't it worth remembering and reminding ourselves?

      "We love because he first loved us." -- 1 John 4:19

Woo!

Mary Taylor

Still Needs Some Work...

      You ever say something, and before it even exits your mouth, you know it was a huge mistake? Yeah, that happens to me a lot. Like a lot more than I'd ever like to admit. Normally it follows that vein of saying the punchline that no one asks for, or trying to tell someone what they want to hear, or sometimes the brutal, honest truth. But maybe in not the most calm, cool, and collective way. In these times, I am reminded of those key chains my friends in elementary school had that read "WWJD?" What would Jesus do? Then I answer "well, certainly not what just was thrown out of my mouth..."

       So, how do you deal with that?

      Me, personally, I just say "sorry" over and over again hoping someone hears me. Even when someone does say "Mary, it's all right, I forgive you," I'm still freaking out because what I said will forever be out in the universe. Always floating around in peoples' heads. What do I do about that? Some part of that person will always remember that thing that I said that was way out of line or super offensive or too brutally honest. How do I deal with that?

      Personally, no clue.

      However one way to start is by noticing how that makes me feel. I mean, saying that thing, using those words, raising my voice, those didn't make me feel good. What about them didn't make me feel good? Well, there were the words. Or that thing about the voice being raised. Okay, okay. So, how do go from here, though?

      Well, again, no clue. A guess, though: you go on. Let that thing that affected you affect you and know how you don't want to feel ever again and try to make it not happen. One thing I always remember after the fact, but always helps me for future (until I forget again and follow impulse): think before speaking or acting on something. I love being spontaneous and doing everything in the moment. But sometimes the old ticker needs a lap around the place every once in a while.

      What about all those people and how they think of me? Well, yeah, they might see you in a different light for a second. But you gotta ride that wave you made for yourself. I paddled all the way out there, time to finish riding the wave. It may be rocky and bumpy and a shark may bite my face off, but gotta do it.

      Also, always remember that God knows your heart and mine. God wipes away all guilt, no matter how large or small. Does that mean what I said or did or how I said it or did it was good and I'll be rewarded? No. But, God, being that unconditional lover He is, finds some way to forgive all of our faults and sins. And quickly, at that.

      There will always be repercussions on all of your actions. No matter what. Good or bad. Riding the wave is where all the lessons are learned and people grow and our knowledge for love is deepened because God has deepened it.

"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." --Proverbs 12:18

Woo!
Mary Taylor

#NewYearsStats

    Most popular statistic of a new year that everyone likes to remind anyone with a New Year's Resolution is something akin to "Only 8% of those making New Year's resolutions will achieve them." If you're anything like me, more often than not, you go really strong with those resolutions for a few weeks, then a hiccup comes, and you abandon them.

      Something I keep forgetting when I let another day go by without going back to my resolutions, thinking I should just give it up and do it next year is that, though a year seems like a short amount of time, it is actually a pretty big difference. I mean, yeah, three weeks could go by without a resolution thought whatsoever, but, really, it's only three weeks out of the 52 weeks in the year. Sure, it's not as great as not letting those static three weeks go, but why give up because of three lousy (but awesome and fun-filled) weeks go by?

      I've been trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and, oddly enough, since I've let this blog go for about three weeks, it has been hard to keep it up. Any number of things could attribute to that: school, work, normal cravings for, like, bacon cheeseburger pizza every Friday... not that that's me.

It totally is.

      Anywho, I think it's pretty notable that once one resolution fell by the wayside, I let the other. It is informative and tells me a lot about me and how I work. Which I think can be spoken about many of us suffering from New-Years-Resolution-Limbo. Do we let one little hiccup crumple our plans for 2015? Do we let that ripple into other responsibilities? How can we grow form knowing this stuff about us?

      "I can do all things through him who strengthens me" --Philippians 4:13

     

      No matter the resolution, or hope, or want, no matter how many times we fall, He strengthens and gives us power to live through it and do those things we want or need or hope. 

Woo!

Mary Taylor

 

 

Yes!! Soon it will happen!!

#JeSuisCharlie

      Sometimes, it sucks being isolated on campus where the only place you can get news during the day is a sketchy student newspaper and some vague reports being tweeted out. However, being someone who rarely checks her phone during the day (believe it or not), that leaves the possibilities even more slim that I get current events in their entirety until long after the day is done.

      Reminds me of when I was in the 3rd grade. On a particular Tuesday, a very beautiful, crisp, early fall day. Not a cloud in the sky. Perfect kickball weather for when recess came around. All of the adults around us (the students) during snack time (a mid-day break between the start of the day and lunch time), were crying. Staring at televisions in the teachers lounge, the teachers, custodians, the principal, the office workers, they were all staring in awe. Some comforting others, some standing alone, simply stunned. Students being called out of class all day. As the minutes passed, another "(insert student name), please come to the office," and another student gone for the rest of the day. I don't remember much of what was said to me that day. What I do remember, in fact, is the silence of the day, and the date. September 11, 2001.

      My parents tried to explain what had happened. I didn't get it. Until my parents turned on the evening news and I saw something that I couldn't believe. A plan, deliberately, crashing into a building. The devastation shook me to my core. In my innocent 3rd grade mind, I didn't know what to make of it. However, it didn't seem to be just my innocent 3rd grade mind. Even my father, someone who I attribute vast knowledge and understanding, didn't know what to do with himself.

      Since then, the news has been flooded with one word that seems to have been desensitized since the first utterance: terrorists.

      Terror.

      For those of you who do not know, Paris suffered from a terror attack earlier today (read more into it here). Much like I was in the third grade, I have no clue what to do with myself. I don't know how to help. I don't know how to take this in. All I know I can do right now is pray.

      "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."   --2 Corinthians 4:8-10

      I haven't the slightest clue how to soften these blows, how to stop these blows, how to bring peace, wholly, to the world. However, I know that the strength of God, the glory of Jesus, and the will of man will come through. The straw on the back of this camel will break soon, and all terror in this manner will cease. I pray for the all who suffered in this tragedy today. Whether one of the ones killed, the family, friends, or acquaintances of one of the ones killed, maybe someone who thought they might know someone in this deadly attack, or someone who sat watching the news today, like many of us, in horror. I pray that peace wash over Paris and the world, and that we all might grow further in love for one another and find a solution to this ongoing fear of hearing of something like this the next day. I pray Jesus spread his glory and grace upon Paris as they heal from today and revive their spirit. I pray for the leaders of the nations and that they may find a solution to this. I pray this all in Jesus' name. Amen.

      

Mary Taylor

 

Good Vibrations!

      I love feeling awesome. There are some times when I am living my life and can't find a single thing wrong with my it. Sometimes I just feel on top of the world! There are other times when I feel like I'm drowning in all of my first-world problems and I can't see the light. Obviously, I want to feel the former a lot more than I want to feel the latter. So, what can I do to feel as much On-Top-of-the-World-ful as possible at any given time?

      It's funny because as I'm writing this, there is an unruly child my mom is babysitting right now who is being, well, unruly. And obviously it is making my mom and I angry which is then making him even more unruly and it's just this vicious cycle.

      So, even in those events, or times of stress, sadness, uncertainty, etc. what can I do to make me feel on top of the world? Well, as much as possible.

      The more I write this, the more it's becoming a segment on TV that is the stereotypical motivational speaker. Can we get some Matt Foley up in here?

      Anywho!

      I was having an office hour with a professor who is just so awesome. She's so connected with the earth and so awesome! Well, we were discussing how to be our best selves. She, in all of her brilliance, said this thing that I feel like I should have known, but put in words was so profound and awesome, but simple. "If we want to be our best selves, we need to do things that enrich our soul and make us feel good. This includes the people we spend time with, the movies we watch, the things we eat and drink. Only eating and drinking the things that we feel good, even after having eaten it."

      Pretty cool, right?

      How many times do we hang around a friend who sucks the life out of us? Or we eat the gross buffet food, and just when the button on the unfriendly blouse is about to pop, we go up for another, knowing we are going to hate ourselves after we finish the plate, which we are going to do because "there are starving people in China who would LOVE to have that food." Or we watch a movie that makes us look at life differently, and not in a good, artsy way-- at all.

      We torture ourselves all the time!
  
      I mean, granted, sometimes it's an indulgence, and we all deserve an indulgence every now and then (my favorite is cheesecake!). But other times it can be the people we surround ourselves with, the Facebook posts we cannot pass up without throwing in our two cents, or the unruly child being unruly and letting it get to us (oh, just me?).

      But what would happen if, instead of living through it as "comes with the territory, you'll get used to it" kind of attitude (or, if you're like me, complaining about it with your parents), I change it. What if I take charge and decide that maybe this person is not good for me to be around. Or what if this Facebook post -isn't- worth throwing the computer on the floor with anger and then going back to it whispering sweet nothings to it in hopes that it works again (and the sweet nothings must have done something right, because it turned on again. Woo). Maybe this child's temporary unruliness isn't worth getting flustered over. So, maybe I scroll past the post (or, if it's someone who --constantly-- posts things like it, delete the virtual friend). Maybe I try a different approach and talk gently to the child.

      Over the summer, I had lunch with a good friend of mine. Another brilliant human being who is kind, loving, talented, amazing-in-every-way kind of person. Anywho, we got on the subject of friendships. I, being the person who cares (too much) about reputation and how others see me and liking everyone, was dumbfounded when she said a very simple phrase.

Supercalifradgilisticexpialidosious.

Kidding! I don't even think I spelled it right.

      She said "you don't have to be friends with everyone."

      Wait! I don't? I mean, it seems really simple, but not being friends with everyone is a thing that people do? I mean, I knew that they did it, but I thought not being friends with someone meant being awful to that person every time they walk by.

      Of course, I watch reality TV, so of course I thought that.

      She went on to say that one must still be loving and kind to that person, but there is no rule that you have to be friends forever.

      Unless you gave them the other half to your Best Friends necklace. Then you're in it for life. Duh.

(kidding)

      There is a friend of mine, we've been friends for years! The friendship runs deep, I mean. But, as I have changed and grown, and my friend has changed and grown, we've grown apart in many ways. So, I have started distancing myself from my friend. Not because this person is a bad person or because I hate this person, but because I no longer feel enriched and fulfilled by being around this person. Not a good or bad thing, just a thing that has grown between us. I still care about my friend's well-being and send as much love and kindness as possible. However, our interactions grow shorter and shorter as time continues.

      I guess what my friend (man, I am talking about a lot of my friend here) said about being friends with everyone was kind of hitting it right on the head for me. Since she said that, I have been really looking at my life and have noticed quite a few people who no longer leave me fulfilled.

      God speaks to us all the time. In so many different ways. Sometimes, the talks are easy to catch. Other times, you gotta search. I knew my friend was on to something with that "no need to be friends with everyone" stuff, and my professor with "what leaves you fulfilled and enriched" stuff! But I hadn't anticipated the impact they made.

      A lot of times, I see themes in a certain amount of time. I look at it as what God is speaking to me about, generally, in that specific time frame (a year, semester, week, whatever). It seems like the last couple months of 2014 and some of this 2015 is going to be about finding that (or who) which enriches my soul and leaves my fulfilled.

      Let's continue on in love, understanding, and kindness.

"For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church." 

--Ephesians 5:29

Commitment in 2015!

      As 2014 ended, I couldn't help but do the same thing we were all probably doing: looking back at 2014. I get a little weirded out, being a student, because I look at a year as a fall semester and a spring semester. But looking back at the whole year of 2014, I cannot believe how full it was! I was in my first main stage show at school, then my second, which just happened to be my favorite play of all time. I was in a show at my hometown community theater and realized I am doing this theater for me, and how freeing it was to have that realization. I said "goodbye" to mentors. I started this blog! I started a series on Instagram tracking my #healthyliving. I spoke of my story in church for the first time, and loved it! I grew in myself. I grew to know more. I grew closer to God.

      However, noticing the past few months, I had realized I gave a lot of excuses. "I can't workout now, I'm too busy," "No, I can't write a blog post now, it's too late," "I can't study now, I have to.... do the dishes." I make excuses for myself too much and give up on commitments too often.

      So, instead of kicking rocks and being bummed about it, what if in 2015, I commit? I commit wholly to what I do. Everything I do. What if I literally write a blog post every-single-day? Along with that, I workout regularly, keep track of what I eat on MyFitnessPal app. AND! I read the Bible, studying it, everyday. It seems like a hefty list. But, I know with your help, God's will, and my love of telling people "told you so," I can do it!!

      May this 2015 be prosperous to all in so many ways. May we grow closer in love and may we love wholly.

Woo!
Mary Taylor

Ferguson

      Earlier this evening, it was announced that the police officer who shot Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, will not face charges (read article and more here).

      No matter your opinions on the issue, it cannot be denied that Ferguson is about to face huge amounts of turmoil. My friends who live near Ferguson cannot go home for the holiday(s) because their lives will be in danger the minute they step foot in a place they once called a safe haven: home. People are rioting in the streets. Police officers are doing everything they can do to keep the violence down, meanwhile a city goes up in smoke.

      As people of faith, people of spirituality, people of the human race, it is our duty to approach every situation, especially one with so much weight, with love and understanding. However hard that might be. I know this situation hits home for a lot of people in a lot of different ways, but fighting and rioting only adds to this great flame already happening.

      How can you help?

      To be totally honest, I have been asking the same thing to many of my mentors, fellow Christians, and fellow lovers of life. However, there are a few things you can do.

1) Pray.
      Not a praying person? You can send good energy, love, good vibes, thoughts to those in Ferguson and those being affected. Pray that a resolution is found. And may we remember the civil rights movement of the 1960s. What we have come to understand from it. That the peaceful leaders are the ones who inspire peaceful generations, and the hearts that break in the wake of violence.

2) VOTE!
      I know, seems weird. But as I scroll through Facebook and all of the many, many souls reaching out to Ferguson through the social media, I read one of my greatest instructors commenting on every status he says "Vote!" At first, I didn't get what that had to do with any of it. Until I read one of his rebuttals to an arguing commentator. He states that a vote can be a great act of love with some of the greatest power and weight we have as U.S. citizens.

3) Silent/Peaceful Potests
      This is slippery, especially for those in Ferguson, however taking part and being active with your voice against the rioting and violence and injustice in Ferguson can be hugely powerful. However, be very, very careful and do your research as to who is leading the protest. I say, once again, fighting violence with violence solves nothing. If you fight violence with violence, you become part of the issue. Be extremely careful and cautious. If you are easily angry, I'd say this may not be the thing for you.

      Know that I have no proper authority to give any of this advice, I only know the things that are going through my head right now as I try to figure this huge thing out. This will surely have the great potential to be a great stepping stone toward a more fair, respectful, just United States if we allow it to be.

Now, (again, not authority), I would like to end in a prayer.



Lord,
We come as confused, scared, angry people. I ask that you may shed your light and spread your arms over Ferguson. I pray that the Brown family remains safe as they continue to mourn the passing of Michael. I pray for the officer who made the decision to shoot and his family, for though we see his action as unjust, you taught us to love our enemies. I pray for all of our police men and women as they prepare for the coming tide. Further, I pray that your love and peace may find its way into all affected. I pray that a resolution quickly comes to surface. I do not know how to handle this, and I ask for clarity. I ask that all those traveling to and from Ferguson go in peace and safely. I pray for those celebrating their holidays alone or in fear because of the hysteria surrounding Ferguson at this time. Lastly, Lord, I want to thank you. For with your ever-growing love, we may find a resolution of peace with Ferguson. I pray for all other place in the world that suffer from this fear and confusion regularly. This insight is hugely important and I pray that we quickly see this through and help those other countries suffering through similar turmoil however we are able.

Amen.


Stay safe, love wholly, and continue in peace and understanding.

Love always,
Mary Taylor

"Love and Hate Are Two Horns on the Same Goat"

      I, admittedly, had planned on doing a blog post about St. Patrick's Day today. I don't really like to plan ahead these posts because I want to write about whatever God is moving through me in that moment. But, on St. Patrick's Day, how could I not plan on writing about good ol' Patty, right? But, alas, God had a different idea.

      No, today I am moved to talk about a man some consider a leader, and others consider a hated monster. Fred Phelps, the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, is dying. His son announced yesterday that he is, in fact, "on the edge of death" (for more information, read full article here).

      For those who don't know the significance of this, Fred Phelps started the Westboro Baptist Church on the foundation of "God Hates..." You may be familiar with them picketing soldiers' funerals with "God Hates Military" , picketing college campuses with "God Hates Fags," so on and so forth. They are known as the most hated family in America. That being said, they are no less grieving like any other family would.

      In this interview with two of the leaders in The Westboro Baptist Church, they profess that they spread this word because they love us. It's like "I'm looking out for you" kind of love. And, although we tend to not understand how they can love us when they spread the word of God hating, it hit me. They genuinely love everyone, they just think God's love means to profess who they think is going to Hell. It's difficult to wrap my head around. However, I started thinking. If they do that out of love, does anyone do anything simply for malicious purposes? Perhaps a questions for another post.

      Earlier in the school year, I came across a group on campus who came to tell all of our fate and that if we don't repent, we're all doomed for Hell. I went to my room, made a sign reading "LOVE is Bigger than the Boogie Man" (in reference to "God is Bigger than the Boogie Man" from Veggie Tales in an attempt to reach a wider range of people than those who respond to religion, for I believe that is the most important: Love). For about two hours, I stood by this group of about four people yelling to the passerby's "You will go to Hell if..." Some students took to yelling back saying "Do what you want!" It was a little chaotic. Nonetheless, at the end of my time (because class, or I would have been there all day. It was thrilling), I went up to the leader of this pack, shook his hand, and said "I understand you believe this is what is right. I want you to know, I love you." Preparing for this guy to say "You can't say that unless you love Jesus! REPENT!" I was floored when he took a deep breath, looked in my eyes and simply said "amen." I couldn't believe it. It was the most humbling, genuine moment of my entire life and something I will remember for the rest of my days.

      My point? There are plenty of people out there who seem to be spreading the word of hate, but deep down, even with them, it's out of love. And in that, how do we respond? The Westboro Baptist Church has hurt a lot of people in a lot of ways. There are some people who want to picket Fred Phelps funeral with the message he spent his life spreading. To that I say that that is worse than them picketing ours. For we know and understand how that hurts, they don't understand it. They believe they are spreading truth, not hate. There are others who says we ought to picket the funeral with love. I suppose that is a little better. However, what if we were to send sincere condolences? What if, to show how their impact has been made into a positive (in teaching not to hate, but to love) we show them true compassion and love and sincere apologies for their loss.

      Someone posted that they hope his death is treated silently and he fades away. To that, I say that is dangerous. We must be reminded that hate comes in many forms and that maybe this form of love is a little sour.

      Although the Westboro Baptist Church seems quick to disown and judge and hate, they are no less human, mourning a great loss. I couldn't disagree more with their stance, however, I give my sincerest condolences in this time of heartache and hardship.

Most Sincerely,
Mary Taylor