Hope: Part 1

      I wanted to do a daily Advent blog this year. I'm starting a little late, but, hey, it's Hump Day! The week is still young! As is Advent. Bam!

      So, I'm gonna kill (or injure slightly so that they are able to be healed quickly, with love and care) 2 birds with one stone. I'm going to cover December 1st's reading and today's (December 2nd). The reading list I'm following is something I found on Pinterest. So, go Pinterest!

December 1, 2015: Jeremiah 33:14-15
     

¹⁴ “‘The days are coming,’ declares the Lord, ‘when I will fulfill the good promise I made to the people of Israel and Judah.

¹⁵ “‘In those days and at that time
    I will make a righteous Branch sprout from David’s line;
    he will do what is just and right in the land.'"

(Link to quote here)

       

       This is it! The time we've all been waiting for! A time of forced family gatherings, busier-than-ever stores, and stupid traffic. 
    
      No, I'm kidding. It's the holiday season! Though, for some of us, there's no difference between the first and the second option. 

      A lot of folks like to say how the world is only getting worse and worse. How they can't possibly see it getting any worse, and then it does. The world is awful. Ugh, world! I hate world!
      These people, most of the time, believe it or not, are Christians. 

"But how can that be? Christians are supposed to be fun-loving, loving loving, awesome, cool, chill humans." I know. Well, some of us have to stick with slow dial up, so we've nto received the memo yet. 

      These Christians, from what I've experienced, sit around waiting for the second coming of Christ (Mary, this is breaking into more of the Easter season than Advent). 

      But, don't you feel like we're missing something? We have an opportunity to prepare the way for Him. Not by sitting around yelling "TOLD YOU SO!" But to actually reach out, be the best us we can be, and spread the love and joy of Christ. Especially in this time of year. 

      All those times in which people say "the world is doomed," that's when we can rise up even more than ever, come together, and step in a gracious, more giving way for the world. To help our brothers and sisters out. To throw aside differences and come together to wait (hem hem, prepare) for the most exciting, anticipated time of the year. 

      Fear not. Have trust. He is coming to save all. All. The babe with the MOST potential ever to have graced man. He's on his way. Relax. Help each other out. You've got plenty of limbs to reach out to your fellow humans. Let's raise each other up, so we can all prepare together. In love.

This Holiday ad from 2014 really hits home for me and reminds me of this message:

Happy First Week of Advent! 

Key word for the week: Hope. 


Woo!
Mary Taylor

 

The Reason I Listen to Christmas Music All the Time

      If you're anything like me, you've been listening to Christmas music all year-round. Only now, it's practically a 24/7 deal. And time after Halloween is fair game, and almost too late to start in the Holiday Cheerfulness that is the Holiday season (brought to you by Christmas music). If you are the few (but the mighty) who are like me, you've also heard a LOT of backlash against your particular song selection. Something about "it's not even Thanksgiving yet," or "give each holiday their due spirit." And, yeah, that's valid, but also there is a reason I listen to Christmas music so early. In fact, many reasons. 22 years worth of reasons.

      First, blatantly, how many Thanksgiving songs do you know? I love Thanksgiving just as much as I love the Christmas and New Years (and Christmas). But, frankly, to me, the feeling is still the same. That warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you get to dedicate the last 2 months of this year and the first week of next with your family. Totally emerged in loving each other wholly and being there for each other. No matter if it is your blood relatives, or your Framily. You get to seek out the people you love (or people who are without loved ones) and relish in the time spent with those around you. So, to me, Thanksgiving and Christmas have very similar shades of awesomeness.

      Second, Christmas music is catchy AF. We listen to Taylor Swift all year long! Her songs are catchy enough. Can't I spend some quality time with some classically catchy tunes with some sleigh bells in the background? I mean, honestly, who doesn't feel their heart skip a beat a little when listening to their favorite Christmas song?

      Also, a lot of these people who are all like "we've commercialized Christmas," not saying I disagree, but wouldn't denying Christmas music until its due time be buying into that? Maybe it's just me, but what sort of twisted society do we live in in which there is a certain genre of music ONLY to be listened to ONE MONTH out the the 12 month year!? I mean, who comes up with these rules! HashtagStickItToTheMan

      Thirdly, genetics, man. My mom LOVES Christmas. She paints and sells her artwork, and in her style of painting, Christmas is her prime time. So, she has to be cranking out Christmas stuff all year long (as well as regular, not-Holiday stuff). In order for that to happen, she sets the mood with some classic Bing Crosby Christmas and some cinnamon candles. All. Year. Long.

      Third-and-a-half-ly, my grandmother loved Christmas too. My grandmother was someone who had a hard time keeping her opinion to herself. And, in that, she tend to say things that weren't the kindest of things. However, she was also one of the strongest women I have ever known (aside form my mom, duh). And if one thing was for certain, it was that once Halloween was over, it was Christmas season. She was the custodian at my elementary school, and she DECKED the halls like no one has ever decked any halls ever. She put so much love and passion behind Christmas for the kids (and to fulfill her love), that she never minded the teachers' glares while forcing them to listen to Holiday music over the intercom system. Mainly because she would just glare even harder and dare any one of them to cross her.

      In my resident hall, there is this "Would you Rather" board. On one end, it says "be a kid for a day," or "be the opposite gender for a day?" So many people picked the "kid" one. But, my question is: if you want so badly to have times be as simple as they were when you were a kid, why deny yourself the freedom to embrace the simple things in life. As much as my grandmother faced scorns for listening to Christmas music so early from the faculty, never once did a child in that school complain for the heavily decked-out hallways, or sparkling lights that flooded Sugar Creek Elementary.

      Now, am I say "GO LISTEN TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC NOW OR YOU'RE A GRINCH!" Of course not. But maybe settle down your hatred for your fellow man who loves the warm fuzzy feeling the Holiday music brings. I get it, you're annoyed. But, like, maybe chill a little. Christmas comes but once a year, let us relish in it as long as we can.

Also, Starbucks Red Cups, you do you. I like 'em a lot! Woo!

HashtagHolidayCheerMiester

Mary Taylor

A Lull

      I'm feeling a lull. When I shouldn't feel a lull.

      A lull in life. Like I'm just kind of wondering through, without much of anything. No presence, no feeling, no nothin'. 

      Normally when this happens, I'm in a complex. A beautiful complex that should totally be embraced. a complex of too busy, and in denial of my busy-ness, resulting in me procrastinating on everything. Which means watching too many YouTube videos. 

      When I get in a lull, it takes me a minute to do something about it. 

      When I FINALLY get off my butt and do something about it, I re-envision how I'm living my life. Am I meditating? Am I praying? Am I working out? How? Am I eating well. Generally, once it's gotten to "lull" level, all answers are no. And, it just so happens, they're a "no" now, too. 

      So, on this Hump Day, I am re-evaluating my life. Seeking out the beauty in life, seeking out God in my life, and meditating on how absolutely blessed I am. 

      Having a bad day or week is normal and totally fine. Sometimes that prolongs into a funk, which is also a ride that needs to be lived through. But sometimes it's simply a lull and my forgetting to simply love my surrounding wholly. 

      Here's to those lulls. And here's to bye bye to those lulls.  

Get it? Like lullabies.

      Woo,

      Mary Taylor

MT TV: Deep Convos with Shayster and Brandino!

Deep Convos with Andy Taylor

Total Eclipse of Stupidity

Low Quality Lighting, High Quality... Something

Caitlyn Jenner and God's Plan

      As a Liberal, politically speaking, I am in LOVE with Caitlyn Jenner. And Lovern Cox (obviously), and anyone who has discovered something totally new about themselves and take the initiative to really be who they are. Totally.

      Others don't see it like that.

      "God made you one way, and that's how He wants you to live!"

      And, I hate hate hate to admit it. But, my religious side couldn't argue with that. So, what? I'm just supposed to be living this double life where I totally agree with it, but when religion comes into the picture I go "well, I guess you're right. Let me hate with you and stuff with you."

      I was conflicted. For, social-politically speaking, once in my life. Gay rights and equality: I had the perfect religious answer. Women's rights: got my Jesus on my side! Racial Tensions: I'm all over it. But Transgender. How do I say "no, God totally wanted to change them. He made the mistake in making them that way, so He says 'oops, sorry. You change it. I'm busy." What kind of God is that?

      There are a lot of pessimists out there. You know who I'm talking about. The type of people in which everything is falling apart all the time. Like Sadness in Inside Out (if you're scratching your head wondering who I'm talking about, stop reading right now and go see that film!). You just want to take their shoulders and yell "GO FIND SOME HAPPINESS!!!!! Life is FREAKING AWESOME!" When lived fully and authentically, life is amazing. There are amazing mountains, and some treacherous, horrid valleys, but the journey is amazing. When you're wholly yourself.

      I have little cousins. Freshman in high school and 8th grader. In other words: teenagers. Girl Teenagers. The kind that can change by a drop of a hat. The kind that can fluctuate just about as much as my diet. It all depends on who's around. I mean, yes we all act a little differently around different company. But I'm talking one day, they're all cardigans and flats, and the next it's all black, safety pins everywhere, hair color change, head-to-toe different. All depending on who it is that they hang out with. When one wants to dance and have fun, the others say "that's not cool," and stifles the ones who want to go out and have FUN. I see it all the time with the cousins. She feels stifled and pressured not to go out and have fun because it would be making a fool of herself and how can she possibly face Lance, the cute football player at school, if he found out she DANCED? At a dance! Oh, the horror of it all. It's simply too much.

      But eventually you start to understand that you can be you and the people that don't embrace that will filter out and others who LOVE it will drop into your life. But it's about letting that happen. Or, in some cases, making that happen.

      Filling your life with what brings you love and joy. But it is impossible to do that while you have to stifle who you are in order to stick to the status quo (insert the High School Musical rock ballad).

     Then it hit me.

      Does God really want us to suffer through stifling ourselves just to keep up appearances? Did God create Bruce and, once he started feeling weird like "I don't think this is right," God just went "it is right because I'm right and that is EXACTLY how I want you to stay forever!" I don't think so.

      Does God look at me and say "oh, no, no need to expand your mind. You're right where you need to be for the rest of your life because I created you and I am right and that is EXACTLY how I want you to stay forever!"If He did, I never listened. I am still constantly learning and discovering. Discovering life and ways to live my full life and ways to do it with God. Finding my true me and living through it.

      So, how is that different?

      God is perfect and makes no mistakes. None. Like, at all.     Ever.

We do. He doesn't.

      So, picture this: God creating that chapter in Bruce's journey. God actually guiding Bruce through his 60-something years to that huge chapter in his life to create Caitlyn.

      I have a feeling that those who have transitioned or are transitioning are right with God. Not only because God is all-loving and all-forgiving, but because they actually aren't doing anything wrong. They are simply taking the step in their lives that is necessary to live their full lives. Fully and freely living their lives. And in that, better understanding. Better loving. Better living.

      Caitlyn Jenner might not fit into what everyone considers to be right. But your right and God's right are different. And seeing how positive this transition is, motivationally, I can't imagine this much greatness is without God and His Love. Which is the most powerful thing. Ever. Ever ever. Ever.

Love always,
Mary Taylor

Complex Carbs

      (sigh of relief) I've missed this.

      Today, as I was on my way to my pseudo-second job, I passed by the church I attend here at home. There were a lot of cars there ("a lot" meaning 4 or 5, but that's a lot for a small-town church in the afternoon on a Wednesday). As you do in a small town in which everyone knows everything that's happening all the time, I wondered "what on Earth am I missing at the church?"

      Then I remembered!

      IT'S BLOOD DRIVE DAY!!!!

      I love giving blood! Which, apparently is a weird thing to love... but whatever.

      Anywho! After I had given blood, I went over to the snack area where my pastor, Joe, was sitting. A few minutes later, a friend came over after he had finished.

      So, conversation commenced.

      Sooner or later, we'd gotten on the brief, but memorable, subject of "Seasons." That is to say
nothing is permanent and everything is temporary.

      Which struck me.

      I guess I'd never really stopped to think about it, but it's true. Nothing is permanent.

      And yet.

      Did you know that we are actually still breathing in the same air Julius Caesar breathed? A little more polluted, I'm sure, but still! As in, the air he exhaled as he uttered his last breath before he died, remnants of that breath are still in the air. Crazy, right? It's like the really broken-down-into-weird-science-stuff that proves words can be permanent.

      More about that in another post, though.

      My point is that while nothing is permanent and everything is temporary, every breath we take and give out is permanently in the air. Whether through spoken word, or the snoring we do catchin' those Zzz's, or that laugh you let out when something is laugh-out-loud--this-is-what-good-times-are-made-of kind of funny.

      Complex, right?

      At school, a big huge thing with the acting faculty is finding the equilibrium and then stepping out of it. Finding balance and then knocking yourself out of it, finding a new balance. A give and take, if you will.

      Complex, right?

      The world is chalk full of dualities and complexities.

      Another pretty big one I heard from a super old Billy Graham sermon: God is seeing the big picture of, you know, Humanity. Yet He still takes the time to count every hair on my head. ....I mean as a metaphor... I'm sure He's not actually taking inventory each night. Unless that's His thing, in which case, You do You. Anywho!

      Talk about complex.

      God cares so much for the Earth and is constantly working big stuff around the Earth.

And Yet.

      He knows every single thing about me. He is paving my path. And then when I mes up from human error, He takes the time to take up all of that pavement and lay it down somewhere later down the path. And then He and I repeat that about 40 different times before I get that was the path He wanted me to take.

      But I digress.

      God works huge shifts in the World every day. Yet He cares so deeply for you that He walks with you through your personal journey. And knows you to personally.

      Isn't that beautiful.

      We are a complex people brought to Earth by a complex God. We are loved deeply. All of us.

      Nothing is permanent, yet that love seems to stick around. Always finding its way in.



Woo!
Mary Taylor

Just 'cause it's Hump Day!

I Never Thought of it That Way

      It's Holy Week! A week full of reflection, anticipation, immense sorrow, and profound joy and hope. All in a matter of 7 days! How can so much fit into a single week!

      The other day, I was listening to my Daily Audio Bible app, and I heard a story out of Mark that was so intriguing to me.

"25 A woman whose daughter had an evil spirit in her heard where Jesus was. And right away she came and knelt down at his feet. 26 The woman was Greek and had been born in the part of Syria known as Phoenicia. She begged Jesus to force the demon out of her daughter. 27 But Jesus said, “The children must first be fed! It isn’t right to take away their food and feed it to dogs.”[a]

28 The woman replied, “Lord, even dogs eat the crumbs that children drop from the table.”

29 Jesus answered, “That’s true! You may go now. The demon has left your daughter.” 30 When the woman got back home, she found her child lying on the bed. The demon had gone."  --Mark 7:25-30

      I love this translation because it adds the "that's true" part. 

     My mom babysits. So, whenever I'm home, I am surrounded by children. Most of the time, I just laugh at what they say because they're so cute and say the cutest things. However, every once in a while, a kid will say something that stops me dead in my tracks. Or do something that is so profoundly awesome. 

      Many teachers have similar moments. Even my brother, who student taught some classes, has moments that made him realize why he was there doing what he was doing. 

      This woman was not afraid to speak to Jesus and ask for help, at all costs. Even if that means, after already telling her that she must wait, telling Him that she needs the goodness He brings. 

      It's that moment in which He is sure in His ways, and not wrong. However, still has His mind open more when she retorts back. 

      What's so amazing about this is that we are constantly being proven that Jesus was God, yes. But also human. And that no one is above a statement that shifts the way of thinking. Everyone is susceptible to an idea that totally changes how to look at an issue. It's what we do in that moment that makes the difference. 

      Jesus was willing and able to shift His plans and His thoughts to accommodate this smart woman. Are we able to do the same when what we believe is challenged?  Sure, not every challenge to our beliefs means a total change in what we believe. But a challenge may bring up new questions to answer. Or a new way to look at something. 

      So, are we able to take those and morph them into something that helps us and helps others? Are we able to take those who retort back (and are probably right) and shift? It's tough. But I think it might actually be possible. 

Woo!

Mary Taylor

         

Another SB 101 Post...

      Romans 2:11: For God shows no partiality.

       I cannot stop thinking of the Religious Freedom bill signed by Mike Pence here in Indiana today. I've restarted this blog post trying to use words to describe what I'm feeling in this philosophical, theological way, but the words were not there.

      A friend texted my today in a rage over the bill. Frustrated and confused about the next step, this person said "I will pray for Indiana today because it all goes downhill from here."

      For a moment, I agreed. How can this be justice in a free world? Why is this happening? How can this happen in 2015?

      Then I remembered the outcome of the slaves in Egypt. The slaves here in America. The multitude of signs reading "Whites Only," or "No Irish Need Apply."

      We have fought this battle time and time again. And we have always ended up on top, receiving what we know as full equality at that time. Does it come easy? No. However, fighting with peace and love will always prevail.

      All of these actions against a certain sect of humans never have God in mind, though. Never. Not truly. The leaders of them might think it is for the best, however, you cannot read any of The Bible without stumbling across yet another passage about acting with love and how we are all equal. Especially in The New Testament when Jesus treats all people like people.

      I do not believe God made this bill happen. I believe this is wholly an act of free will, not hearing God's voice in the deliberation of this bill.

      I cannot say I am totally innocent of not hearing God's voice and it affecting others around me negatively. So, I am not sure I can pass judgement on Mike Pence. What I can do, however, is pray. Pray for Indiana. Pray for businesses. Pray for the businesses that act on this bill. Pray for businesses struggling for lack of tourism. Pray for the leaders of this state. Pray for Mike Pence. And pray for the inevitable fight and backlash that is to come now until this is reversed.

      We are all equal in every single way. When all will realize that is beyond me. But there will come a day when that happens. I have full and total faith. Equality will be won and love will be restored.

Mary Taylor

My Indiana Home

      Normally, I hear all sorts of stuff from my peers about how much Indiana is awful. Generally speaking, I've come to find Indiana beautiful in many ways, though. I mean, the scenery is gorgeous, the people are great, and my hometown is awesome! And we have some pretty awesome things! Like Connor Prairie, Indiana State Museum, all sorts of cool things. I guess it's the constant angst against Indiana and its people I have a problem with. In a lot of ways, it's people not taking into consideration other peoples' love for their surroundings. Lately, though, it's been really hard to like Indiana.

      Yesterday, a bill passed in Indiana that allows business owners to deny service to anyone who they deem "against their religion."

      If you remember from the history lessons from 5th grade, that is bad. Why? Because it discriminates. Period.

      (To read more about the bill, read here)

      There are so many things wrong with this. Like, countless. But, what really hurts my heart is that this bill was conceived, agreed upon, and signed by Christians. By people who are my brothers and sisters of Christ.

      Maya Angelou said this amazing thing about humanity.

                  She says "I am a human being. Nothing human can be alien to me."

      Anything any other human being does is not foreign to me. I am capable of that act. No matter how awful. I have it in me to do that thing.

      However, reversely, any one act that is so grand and huge and awesome that another person does, I am capable of.

      Every time we are hit with this issue of hate in the name of religion, or of fear, or of simple ignorance, has been fought and won.

      The slaves being freed from Pharaoh in the Old Testament. Jesus saving the sick and the lame. Discrimination against any followers of Christ. The heinous act of attempting to kill off a whole race and religion of humans. Treating humans like property. Separating colors with separate but "equal" treatment. Not allowing humans to fully express who they are. Stopping people from voting because they are darker than white. The list goes on.

      But of every villain, we have a hero.

      Moses. Jesus. Churchill.  Tubman. Martin Luther King Jr. From political leaders to the religious. From artists to business people. There are always heroes to the villain. And the way history has gone so far is that we fight. We fight we fight we fight. We do not quit. Until we win. Until equality is realized and love is restored.

      I am not proud of the choices made by the leaders of this great state. In fact, I am embarrassed and ashamed. However, I am not giving up on my home. I will fight with the best of them. I will make my voice heard.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." --Isaiah 41:10 

Love as He loved.

If you, also, want your voice heard and want to speak up against this bill, no matter where you're from, email Mike Pence here.

If you want your actual physical voice heard, call him to urge him to veto here.


Woo!
Mary Taylor

Winners Never Quit

      There are some phrases we all know that I absolutely despise.

      Examples: "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach." Hate it! First, teachers DO know how, that's why they teach. Also, that's a whole group of amazing human beings who spend their whole career caring for not themselves at all! I just hate that phrase.

      Another: "Winners never quit, Quitters never win."

      Until recently, I absolutely believed that and loved that phrase. I mean, not-quitting builds character! You have to teach your child to give something a try before quitting. Like baseball, or dance, or that community theater play. So, yes, to a point, that phrase is super useful.

      Over-committing myself is a thing I do a lot. I never think I do, because I see all of my friends do, like, a bajillion things at once and I'm like "wow, what am I even doing with my life?" Not to mention that I'm kind of bad at saying "no" when someone needs something. A lot of situations, I work best when I'm going-going-going. However, when is it too much? And how do I fix it without being a quitter?

      Recently, I dealt with this issue that was simply proving too much for me to handle. I didn't know how to deal with the situation, though. I didn't want to quit one of the things I'd started because then I'd be a quitter, and they never win. Plus, "if God brings me to it, He'll bring me through it," right? So, clearly, I just have to see this thing through. Even though I hate my time doing it. And I'm not invested. And I'm not enjoying myself. I just gotta see it through?

      Well, after homework assignment on top of homework assignment piled up, group work became intense, my job became demanding, and this extra thing I was doing was continuing to go quickly, my life seemed to crumble a little. I couldn't deal with the pressure of everything.

      But it's only two more weeks. God doesn't want quitters. I can do this. He'll bring me through it.

      But also, what if I just quit the other thing? That extra thing that was taking up a lot of my time and I wasn't really super invested in anyway?

      No, no, of course not. That would be unfair. Plus, God doesn't want quitters. He will see me through.

      So, I prayed.

      After two (what seemed like) mental breakdowns, it was clear what needed to happen.

      I met with the friend in charge of the extra thing I was involved in to tell him that I needed to quit for my sanity's sake. Having played his reaction in my head countless times leading up to this moment, he shocked me when he was actually totally and completely calm in saying "I understand. You do you." After a hug from the friend, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.

      God saw me through it.

      There are times when quitters never win. However, winners sometimes just have to quit for their sake. We have this baggage on the word "quit" that makes it sound dirty and awful. But, really, in many ways, it can be freeing and great.

      And sometimes God doesn't agree with those weird phrases we give ourselves. Sometimes God "seeing us through it," is different than seeing us through to the absolute end of it. I mean to say that God will always see YOU through YOUR end of it, but it's not always the same as someone else' end to it. And that's what's great about us and God. We are on different paths, and God knows that. He knows our path and our way because He has seen our journey. He's guided the way the entire time.

 Isn't that glorious!

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." --Matthew 11:28

Woo!
Mary Taylor

Awkward Family Photos

      A few years ago, I asked one of my pastors and mentors how to read the Bible. Like why does it say not to wear two different fabrics and different stuff like that. She referenced something like this to help me better understand how to take the Bible. It pretty much says (and you should click the link to read the whole post, because it's awesome! I'll give you another link to it here) that The Bible is looked at as this rule book or this supernatural being-of-a-book, etc. But really, what it is is more like your "great grandmother's family scrapbook."

      When my pastor first said that, I was confused. I mean, normally scrapbooks don't have rules and regulations and probably doesn't have near as much blood and gore...

      Today, I was listening to The Daily Audio Bible app. I'm a little behind (February 18th.... a lot behind), but he read a passage out of Leviticus. One of the passages with just lists and lists of rules. Then it hit me.

      Jesus died for our sins. So that we don't have to buy all of those sacrifices and waste tons of money and so that we can be cleaned and forgiven. So, why do we still have tons of lists of rules?

      How it hit me today: we have those lists and all of that info surrounding the Gospels to give us information on what exactly it means to really, truly, be forgiven. So we can look at what it took to be forgiven, flip it on its head (with Christ), and understand that we are forgiven now. To see the world Jesus lived in, and know the world He died in. To see the milestones we as a Christian people have taken to get to where we are today.

      It's pretty cool when you think about it.

      But, trust me, you're gonna wanna take a look at this link because it explains it SO awesomely!

      So, we're forgiven. Yeah. But do you know what it took for us to get here? It'll blow your mind.

Woo!

Mary Taylor

Fixer Upper

      Last night, I was giving my brother some advice. We were talking and after the conversation, I gave a very satisfied nod, then went to bed. It wasn't until I was lying in bed, reviewing the day's events, that I had realized.      Oh my goodness. I just told my brother how to live his life.    Wait, what!? No. That's what my mom does. That's what my dad does. That is NOT what I do!

      But I did. In the tone that, to me sounded helpful and inviting, I had told my OLDER brother how to live his life. Without malice, I told my brother what to change about him.

      I panicked. I emailed a mentor of mine immediately. She said something enlightening, yet simple because I had heard it before.

      So, I'm going to share. Because, through my huge mistake, I take away greater understanding.

      We're all on a journey. All of us. We're all in different parts in our life and all are seeking different things in life. Some people are okay where they are right now and are just living life. Some people are looking for the next step. Some people are trying to get used to the new step they just took. And that's only covering PART of it. Not to mention some people are working on being more happy. Some are working on being more responsible. Some are working on giving up a vice. I mean, we're all working on ourselves constantly! Which is great and wonderful because we never actually stop growing.

      So! When people ask advice, it's best to actually share my experience with the thing their bringing up, and see what they take from it. The whole telling them what to do thing, apparently, doesn't actually work. I know because when people tell me how to live my life, I get kind of angry and ignore the. So, why would I expect my brother to act differently (though he did take it very well)?

      She also pointed out that a lot of the time, the advice we give is actually what we are highlighting for ourselves to work on. Like where our heart is in most. Like finding happiness. Loving self. Better eating habits. The list goes on. And I cringe with each mention of something because I realize the amount of "advice" I've given to so many people.

      Face-palm.

      But it's good! Because now I understand.


      Now I just have to, like realize when I'm doing it and stop. And, instead of giving advice, I share my experience instead of working on fixing the person.

      Gotta take the log out of my eye before I can take the speck of sawdust out of the other guy's eye, right?

Woo!
Mary Taylor

(Insert Jeopardy's Waiting Theme Here)

      Waiting to hear God's is valid and needs to happen. A lot. But just waiting around will get you nowhere.

      Here's why.

      First, He's here already.

      As I've mentioned in previous posts, I listen to the Daily Audio Bible app. At the end of most everyday's Word, there are recordings of callers who have called in recently to lift up a prayer, give inspiration, encouragement, etc. Every now and then I'll hear a caller say that this world sucks and that he or she cannot wait until Jesus comes to save us.

      Daily Audio Bible isn't the only place I hear that. I've heard it about various topics. One Christian perspective on climate change that I've heard is that it's a sign that the world is ending because God wants it so. As in this climate change is God taking charge and destroying the world slowly. I mean, I won't even go down the rabbit hole of the fact that Earth is a great gift God made for us and that I think He wants us to keep it clean. And that scientific evidence shows that climate change, although always has been a thing, is speeding up and going out of whack because of what mankind has done. So, that'll be for another post.

      But the point is is that now we just wait. We just wait for Jesus to come save us.

     What if I was to tell you that He is here. He always has been. I mean, yes, I cannot even imagine the Glory that will take place when Jesus comes again. It will be beautiful and glorious and awesome. But, is life really just supposed to be about waiting? I mean, don't we have a life that God gave us for a reason?

      I'm not saying that there aren't things on this earth that are horrible. All the time, I am hearing something about a new horrific thing happening around the world. However, there are also so many wonderous, great, loving, awesome things that are happening. Even those small little awesomes that only happen between you and a friend.

      And I totally think waiting to hear God's voice and taking time to understand the next step in your journey is so valid and, at least in my journey, I've found, necessary.

      However, a whole life dedicated to "this world is horrible. I'll just wait until Jesus comes again" is a waste.

      The disciples thought Jesus would come back within their lifetime. Yes, they waited for Him. What they also did was spread His glory and grace and love. Through speaking of The Word, helping the world better understand Jesus' mission, and doing it all in the act of His love.

      So, the waiting game can definitely be played, but a whole life of doing nothing but waiting might be contradicting what Jesus said about loving wholly. It's hard to love when you're sitting bruiting about the world around you without doing much to change it.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  --John 3:16  

Woo!

 Mary Taylor

Judas, Judah-ahs.

      So, I've been doing a lot of research on Jesus Christ Superstar lately and any controversy attached to it. Like the whole thing where some churches thinks it sympathizes with Judas too much and stuff. Growing up in the church, Judas has always seemed like the bad guy. Like the devil in the Jesus version of God vs. The Devil (only different but also the same because Jesus is God... But yeah). Judas did the unforgivable, unfathomable, inconceivable thing and betrayed Him. I mean, who does that!? And then he just hangs himself? I mean, come on! How awful.

      But I gotta say, I think we might be missing the big thing here. Imagine that! The world that missed the big picture that Jesus was preaching about, still might be missing the bigger picture.

      Before I go on, if you've read my Lenten Promise Blog last year, you know that I wrote about Judas in a similar context. I just really am intrigued by Judas. If Jesus loved him enough to be best buds and trust him with any and all things the 12 did, I think he can't be an awful guy. I'll explain.

      Jesus, on the cross, says "forgive them for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Later, He says "It is finished." As in striking someone because of sin. As in the whole pay-lots-of-money-to-have-the-high-priests-burn-animals-for-you-sins-to-be-forgiven thing is done. As in just because you sin, does not make you horrible in God's eyes. As in all punishment on this earth for sin is done.

      Why, then, for 2,000 years, has Judas been the exception to that forgiveness? Why has the church come to love all....but Judas? If Jesus, the man Judas actually betrayed, can forgive him (and all of us), why can't we?

      Yes, Jesus is our savior. Jesus is the holiest of holy, the King of Kings, and absolutely is betraying Him horrible. But do we really think Judas is unforgivable? If we blame Judas for Jesus' crucifixion (an awful, horrible, just-about-the-worst-legal-punishment-used-by-a-government), should we bless God even more for turning an awful, horrible, tragic event and turning it into 2,000 years of beauty? I have to say, though I mourn the death of our Christ, His resurrection renews a sense of absolute hope and love and excitement. Which God has turned the tragic event into. To show that death is, indeed, not the last thing. Should we not rejoice completely in the glory of a God that can turn That into something so profoundly beautiful?

      Not to mention that Judas was a human conflicted profoundly by the law and the man who is God. But that's another story for another time.

      And what does Jesus say about our enemies, if we are to continue to look at Judas as the enemy? That we must love our enemy. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespassed against us. 

      Judas might (maybe, still not totally convinced) be the villain in Jesus' story. But if Jesus can forgive that, should not the church do the same? Shouldn't the church focus on the amazing power God has to make beauty out of tragedy?

      My opinion: absolutely.

      "Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, 'What you are going to do, do quickly.'”   --John 13:27


 Love always,
Mary Taylor

 

Health of Self

      Do you ever have that thing in which you are excited/anxious/nervous/but excited/happy/confused/excited about something, but you have no clue what it is? Like none at all?

      Yeah, that's been me all day. Like I feel like I should be stressed about something, but also excited. Of course, coming back to school mid-semester, there's always that kind of ongoing stress. But it feels a little different that that. It feels like I should be anticipating something.

      I don't know what it is, but I've felt this before.

      Last time I was feeling like this, I spoke to one of my professors about it. She mentioned that it might be my body/soul/mind/etc. that I'm ready for the next step. Whatever that might mean. I've come to understand that it's God trying to speak to me.

      Today, during my 15 minutes of silence, I started off by praying. I prayed that God show me some way to navigate whatever it is that is on my heart. So, I am excited to see what God has in store for me.

      Often, I find myself muting my body, mind, spirit, what have you. Sometimes, I'll be in a busy part of my life, stressful part of my life, and I will neglect me and what my body, mind, spirit, what ave you, is (or are) asking from me. Parents do this often. They will put all of their time and energy into their kids and work, that they forget about themselves. Not to say that's not admirable, but if the self isn't taken care of, how can one hope to take care of others and/or properly perform the tasks asked of them.

      The passage in Corinthians that reminds me a little of this is "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?" (1 Corinthians 3:16).

      Making sure others have health is important. Making sure you have health is essential to both you (and your spirit, mind, body, etc.) and all around you.

      So, to bring it back around, I ask for prayers for whatever it is that is on my heart and mind. Of course, it could just be me pumped for Summer. Nonetheless, I ask for prayers, thoughts, winks, whatever you can muster.

Woo!
Mary Taylor

 

I Dunno

      The one thing I love about religion: it's one thing that is so much bigger than self, that it's actually okay if you don't understand. Over the years, I've tried to wrap my head around so much of the religion I practice. And Just when I think I get it, someone or something throws a huge wrench in it. Then the rest of the toolbox so that is seems I've lost my original thought altogether. But, it's okay. Because there is, it seems to me, always some part of it that is beyond my understanding.

For instance:

      God made man in His vision. So, God looks like humans. But, really, is that so? What is God? Is He a being? Or an orb of light? Or some kind of substance not known to man.

      Also, how did He make us? And how does He know our path? And why give us free will? I mean, I'm grateful, but why give it to us?

      Another thing. Is Hell actually real? Is Purgatory? Is Heaven? How do we live beyond this life?

      How do I know it's all real?

I don't.

      Which is really cool. Right? I mean, having total faith in something, however scary and stressful, and can lead to nights staying awake all night pondering big, huge questions, is exciting. And gives me life and meaning. And love and passion. And every single thing in between.

      For me, not knowing the answers is both a relief and stressful at the same time. However, it is also okay to me. I'm cool with not knowing wholly. Will I still try to seek the answers? Of course! I'm like a child looking for where their parents hide the Christmas presents before Christmas. Will I find all of the answers? Probably not totally. But that's the glory of it. It's a gift all its own.


May we never stop seeking further knowledge and never stop asking questions. May the journey lead us to wonderment beyond the imagination and discoveries worth exploring. May God guide us through the path.

Woo!
Mary Taylor

Silence is Golden. But Duct Tape is Silver.

       You know how the other day, I wrote a post about nothing because I had no ideas?


      Well, today, I started (and almost finished) like 5 blog posts. All brimming with the ideas floating in my head. But there are like so many that I can't put all of my energy into one. So, perhaps another vague blog post?

      Lately, I've noticed the lack of silence in my life. I hear all of my mentors (school, home, spiritual, etc.) talk about the importance of silence in my life. I mean, if there is a moment of stillness or silence, I look for my phone and say "man, I'm bored." But really, I'm not. My mind is racing through ideas and memories. Why don't I allow myself that time to sit with my thoughts and meditate on them?

      In a technique of meditating that promotes self-worth and goal-orientation (if that's a word...), one has to visualize oneself totally, with details, for 15 minutes a day. 15 minutes? Psh, I can do that. Well, I tried and it turns out, it's really hard to find a moment of silence and stillness for a straight 15 minutes in a day.

      If I can't spend 15 minutes with myself, wholly myself and present, then ow can I expect to have a growing relationship with God? I'm not saying, in any way, that being busy is not a valid reason for anything. Life can be so, so, so busy! But, I'd say that those busiest times is when we need ourselves and God even more than ever. As painful and torturous as taking a whole 15 minutes to meditate, or journal, or stare at the ceiling, or pray, or whatever might be, it's worth it to allow some perspective. To allow us to center ourselves. To contemplate. To grow closer to God and understand self better.

      So, my goal for this next week (week we go back to school from Spring Break), to spend at least 15 minutes in silence. No, not sleeping or napping (which is what a lot of my free time looks like), silence. What that looks like is to be determined, but in order to fully develop anything, I think I'll need that silence.

      Here's to goals within the fasting season of Lent! Woo!

"Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent." -- Proverbs 17:28

Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Silence#sthash.2CPVp99I.dpuf

Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Silence#sthash.2CPVp99I.dpuf

Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Silence#sthash.2CPVp99I.dpuf

Woo!
Mary Taylor

Did You Hear Something?

      Pilate is kind of a mean guy. And when I say "kind of a mean guy," what I mean to say is this guy was a total meanie. To put it lightly. Like really lightly. He never blinked twice when sentencing someone to death (as I read in the book Zealot: Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth). However, in Luke 23, Pilate goes on about how he doesn't see how Jesus could be a bad guy. The author of Zealot argues that this probably didn't happen because of how used he was to sentencing "messiahs" to death. He wouldn't have gotten too torn up about it. And though I see where that can be true, I wonder if God's power is so strong that He can make a man who doesn't believe in any of this messiah business and sentences pretty much anyone to death that is brought forth, believe that this case is different.

      All my life, I have been trying and trying and trying and trying to lose weight. I'll do a good thing for a couple of months, drop a few pounds, and go back to my old ways. Over the years, my parents have heard "I think I'm going to try losing weight," or "I think I need to change up my eating habits," or "I'm going to start exercising" probably a total of 80,000 times over my 22 years of existence. The kick I'm in now has been going strong for 165 days (and counting). So, what makes this one different? What made me really go through with this with as much consistency (even if it's not exactly totally consistent, but more than it was in the past)?

      When God speaks loud enough, anyone can hear Him. When I was reaching my heaviest and unhealthiest me, God screamed from the Heavens for me. *Cut to God's face, Him yelling "Mary! Put down the chips! Watch the Apple Fitness Commercial and start exercising!" Quick take to me, looking out, dropping the handful of chips I was about to shove in my face, and finding a fitness app. And then randomly exercising in the toy room.*

      When Jesus, God's perfect son, God's true gift to mankind, God in human form, was about to be put to death via crucifixion, I cannot imagine a God that was not angry/sad/frustrated, screaming from the Heavens. Yes, Jesus' death is prophesied, but in that moment between Pilate asking why Jesus deserved it and sentencing him to die on the cross, I can't help but think that Pilate's hesitation is that of a man questioning. A man who is so used to killing, questioning the right and wrong in this situation.

      So, my question. Did Pilate hear God in those moments? However, being a man who does not stoop so low as to look at messiahs and believe what these citizens believe, not knowing what was happening? Was Pilate hearing God share the importance of this man's life?

      Yes, Pilate was a man who killed many without remorse. And whether or not Jesus went without Pilate's remorse is not totally known. Yes, it makes sense that Pilate wouldn't think twice before sentencing Jesus. Still on the yes train, The Bible isn't to be taken as fact but truths. So, maybe Pilate didn't think twice. Or maybe even Pilate can hear the tiny pin-drop-in-the-gut feeling when God yells form the Heavens.

      "Then the whole assembly rose and led him off to Pilate. ² And they began to accuse him, saying, “We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Messiah, a king.”
³ So Pilate asked Jesus, “Are you the king of the Jews?”
“You have said so,” Jesus replied.
⁴ Then Pilate announced to the chief priests and the crowd, “I find no basis for a charge against this man.”
⁵ But they insisted, “He stirs up the people all over Judea by his teaching. He started in Galilee and has come all the way here.”
⁶ On hearing this, Pilate asked if the man was a Galilean. ⁷ When he learned that Jesus was under Herod’s jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who was also in Jerusalem at that time.
⁸ When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been wanting to see him. From what he had heard about him, he hoped to see him perform a sign of some sort. ⁹ He plied him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer. ¹⁰ The chief priests and the teachers of the law were standing there, vehemently accusing him. ¹¹ Then Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked him. Dressing him in an elegant robe, they sent him back to Pilate. ¹² That day Herod and Pilate became friends—before this they had been enemies.
¹³ Pilate called together the chief priests, the rulers and the people, ¹⁴ and said to them, “You brought me this man as one who was inciting the people to rebellion. I have examined him in your presence and have found no basis for your charges against him. ¹⁵ Neither has Herod, for he sent him back to us; as you can see, he has done nothing to deserve death. ¹⁶ Therefore, I will punish him and then release him.” ^[17] [a]
18 But the whole crowd shouted, “Away with this man! Release Barabbas to us!” ¹⁹ (Barabbas had been thrown into prison for an insurrection in the city, and for murder.)
²⁰ Wanting to release Jesus, Pilate appealed to them again. ²¹ But they kept shouting, “Crucify him! Crucify him!”
²² For the third time he spoke to them: “Why? What crime has this man committed? I have found in him no grounds for the death penalty. Therefore I will have him punished and then release him.”
²³ But with loud shouts they insistently demanded that he be crucified, and their shouts prevailed. ²⁴ So Pilate decided to grant their demand. ²⁵ He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, the one they asked for, and surrendered Jesus to their will."

--Luke 23:1-25
  


- Mary Taylor 

The important of silence and contemplation...

The Emotive God

      My favorite thing about humans: our emotions. I mean, we have so many! And we cannot help but share them. Even the people who are stone-faced all the time share emotion sometimes. It's great! Well, sometimes the emotions can hurt. Whether it's acting out of rage at a loved one, or making a tough decision with stress being the deciding factor. Either way, aside form love, emotions are some of the most powerful powers we have.

      God made Us in His image. Whether or not that's physical image or spiritual image or emotional image, He made Us in His image.

      Our society likes to keep in mind the lesser qualities in us humans. The server is so rude. No tip for them. Jeez, this cashier woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Man oh man, how could someone so loyal betray him like that? One slip, and we can end up on the bad side of a person. Sometimes, we forget how emotional we can be to let the other party have their emotion.

      A commentary always happens after the daily scripture reading on The Daily Audio Bible, and one day the man who is in charge of the app was commenting on emotions. How sacred it is in other culture versus another. For instance, in ancient times, like Roman times, they would collect their tears. Collect them to be cherished and remembered. However, in our society, we wipe them away as if to try to erase the lessons we learned with that cry we just shared.

      I always hear of the angry God. The God who is sad for Jesus' dying, angry at His children on Earth, and vengeful. But we too easily forget the love of this God. The care this God has for each and every one of Us. My parents get mad at me at least once a day. But how often to I hold on to that? Pretty much never. Unless they bring it back up, then I realize the issue isn't resolved and I try to fix the problem.

      Anywho, I don't know what God is feeling. But I do know that I was made in the image of Him. And I know how emotional I can be. So, I can only image the depth of emotion for a God who is so specific, so incredibly caring for each of us, that He spends so much time making us His creation.

Woo!
Mary Taylor

     

No Clue

      There's plenty to talk about. Like P-L-E-N-T-Y! However, I've been sitting here for the better part of 20 minutes thinking of what to write about. My mind has been racing all day, so many thoughts about so many things. Yet, the ideas for today's blog post was at a big goose egg level. And not the cool ones you get on your head after the basketball rack lid is slammed on your forehead. This goose egg doesn't leave an awesome, huge, lumpy bump on your head to remind people of how hard core you are. This goose egg leaves behind a blog post with little substance.

      This happened around this time last year too.

      One of my acting professors at school says that too much screen time (whether that is on your phone, watching television, etc.) instead of living wholly in the present can cause a lull in imagination. And I agree. To be fair, I did spend the better part of the day either driving around, exploring The Vanity Theater, watching The People's Court with my grandfather (not my first choice, but certainly an interesting one), and watching videos on my phone.

      So, as I write this, I just see my acting teacher sitting, saying "Mary, you time doesn't mean screen time."

      However, another acting professor of mine loves when people are speechless. When jumbling happens, you know something is getting the "light bulb" status somewhere, the words just can't describe it.

      Whatever the diagnosis for my substance-less post today, I look back on this past year (as in from Lent 2014 to now), and I cannot believe how much of my life has changed. In some ways, out of my control. But other are forces I have started. And I am proud and honored and excited to continue. To see where I will be tomorrow. Then next week. Then next month! We never stop growing, really. So, I'm very excited!

Woo!
Mary Taylor

Escuses, Excuses

      I'm really good at coming up with excuses. Like really good. Tell me to do anything, or why I haven't done a certain thing, I can probably give you a pretty solid excuse. I know that life happens to people a lot which makes some things superbly difficult, sometimes impossible. But then there are just plain old excuses.

      For instance, I always complain about not having as awesomely healthy options to eat at school. Like that's my thing, me just saying how hard it is to diet on campus. And I'm not lying. It is really hard. You can either have salad or salad, or sushi! Or salad. Thaaat's about it. But, I digress.

      This evening, I was punching into My Fitness Pal the stuff my day was consisted of. Mind you, I am home for spring break. And let me tell you, it wasn't horrible, but man it was not good. I mean, normally at school I punch the stuff in before I eat, not at the end of the day. That's the point of keeping track. And then I thought "well, I mean, there aren't many options here anyway. Once I get to school, it'll all open up and I'll feel a lot more free to eat the way I should." Which sounded familiar. Because that's what I say to myself when I'm at school, only about home.

      Then it hit me. I have to either start getting better at making up different excuses, or try to stop making up excuses where there should be none.

      We are busy people. And sometimes we need that room to make excuses. But what if one time I set aside the excuses and did something to positively impact me. What if I stop saying "I have no time" and instead make it so my day is chalk-full! Like for real. Not just full, except for my nap. Not saying nap time is not hugely necessary, but that it can be shortened. What if I give myself a limit for how many excuses I can use in a day? And the rest of the time I actually pray with my whole heart, not just at the last moment in bed right before I fall asleep. Ooh! And/or I look for a new workout regime! And/or I go to the store to get some veggies and fruit so I don't have to complain about the lack of them and make an excuse as to why I way too many Sun Chips (because it actually doesn't really matter too much that they're whole grain...).

     Jesus' disciples gave up every thing to follow Him. I think I can give up the excuses to be the person God knows I can be. The one I know I can be.

Woo!
Mary Taylor

Bond.

      God's got my back. I've known that all of my life. God's got my back and is the glory and the light and the best relationship I'll ever have. God's journey is awesome and following His plan is the best thing for me to do. But, sometimes His plan is hard to understand and sometimes I'm like "Psh, no, I think it's this way. Trust me, I've lived here all my life." Which works out exactly zero times. However, I eventually, from one happenstance to another, find my way back.

      I go through these times in which I question God and Jesus. And I'm actually a fan of questioning your surroundings. But for me, questioning only ends in a stronger belief in Him. And Him believing in me stronger. Through every bout I have with Him, whether it's me not listening or moving away from His path, our relationship grows. Just like every other relationship.

      This evening, my family watched Alexandre's Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (the movie was okay. Good Family Flick, but if you're wanting to watch something that has a compelling story and stuff, stay away from this fluff for the night. Plus side, my husband, Dick Van Dyke was in it, so yeah). At the end of an AWFUL day had by the whole family, they ended up having a great evening having grown closer in the universally horrid day they had. In the end, Alexandre wished everyday could have been like that one, because it ended with a great family having a great time, despite their bad day.

      Another comparison:

      I ate pretty horribly this week. After a month of going relatively strong on the Health Living thing, I ate not awesomely all week. This happens a lot, actually. But, when I get back on the horse, I am more aware of what makes my body want to go into those crazy times of weird eating habits and know to avoid that food. And workout. No matter what. And drink water. So much water. Water is so scrumptious. ...I'm going to grab a glass of water.

      Anywho! So yeah!

      (rule of 3s) Last comparison:

      I love the NBC TV show Parenthood! It is so awesome and perfectly highlights EVERYTHING in a family. Like Amber and Sarah's relationship. AKA: teenager daughter arguing with her mother constantly kind of relationship. They fight a lot (because they're so alike). Yet, they have such a strong bond! Because they survive those fights to see each other deeper and love each other deeper. My mom and I: same thing. We're the exact same in so many ways, so we fight often. But she is my bestest friend! I tell her -literally- everything. Even things she hates hearing. I know I can go to her for absolutely anything and she can come to me. And we tell each other the brutal truth. Which we hate for a hot second, then we're back to joking around and stuff.

      Anyway, there are times when I'm wondering if I'm doing something right in God's eyes. And sometimes, even scarier than that: I don't wonder. But no matter what, I know He's there to guide me. I come back, knock on his door at 3 AM in the pouring rain with my head lowered and say "you were right. I'm sorry." And He invites me in, makes me some hot chocolate (like from scratch, none of that weird powder stuff) with extra marshmellows and lets me talk through it with Him. And, at the end of the night, when He offers his couch for me to crash on and I take Him up on the offer, our bond is stronger and We know we made it through and can add this to the list of things our relationship can withstand!

      I gotta say, unconditional love is pretty stellar.

Woo!

Mary Taylor