One of the pastors at the church I attend at home said something to me that I still think about constantly. "Forgiving isn't forgetting it ever happened." Crazy, right? Well, it was for me.
This year, as I may have mentioned, I've been trying to write one letter to one person a day. I figured it was a great way to re-connect with those I'd lost contact with because when I see them on Facebook, I just kind of am like "meh, moving on." I'm also doing it to remind me and the other person how awesome humanity is and that there are always good qualities in people.
There are a couple of people in my life that have done pretty nasty things, not particularly to me, but in general and I tend to want to keep all of that negativity out of my life. So, as one does, I asked my pastor what she would do. She talked a lot about understand that forgiving is different than forgetting. Sure, that phrase "forgive and forget" is a thing, but how useful is forgetting about it?
I don't hold grudges, but I also have a hard time forgetting certain events and I tried to forget all about their negativity and go from there. Then I realized that gets me nowhere. In trying to forget, I remember how awful it felt and all of this stuff and it didn't feel right. I realized I'd been spending most of my life thinking forgiving and forgetting were, in fact, synonymous. But they're not. I can't forget the bad things they've done, but I can't totally judge them for the actions and totally clip all ties having to do with them.
So, what do I do? Frankly, still trying to figure it out. I talked to one of my professors here about it, I've asked the parents, I've talked to my pastor. This is a huge chasm God has put in front of me, and I'll reach the top (or jump down, depending on where the chasm is relatively speaking). All I know is that forgiving is necessary and totally possible. For God forgives us constantly. He has granted us the ability to do the same. So, why not learn how to flex that muscle? On to the great adventure!
Woo!
Mary Taylor
This year, as I may have mentioned, I've been trying to write one letter to one person a day. I figured it was a great way to re-connect with those I'd lost contact with because when I see them on Facebook, I just kind of am like "meh, moving on." I'm also doing it to remind me and the other person how awesome humanity is and that there are always good qualities in people.
There are a couple of people in my life that have done pretty nasty things, not particularly to me, but in general and I tend to want to keep all of that negativity out of my life. So, as one does, I asked my pastor what she would do. She talked a lot about understand that forgiving is different than forgetting. Sure, that phrase "forgive and forget" is a thing, but how useful is forgetting about it?
I don't hold grudges, but I also have a hard time forgetting certain events and I tried to forget all about their negativity and go from there. Then I realized that gets me nowhere. In trying to forget, I remember how awful it felt and all of this stuff and it didn't feel right. I realized I'd been spending most of my life thinking forgiving and forgetting were, in fact, synonymous. But they're not. I can't forget the bad things they've done, but I can't totally judge them for the actions and totally clip all ties having to do with them.
So, what do I do? Frankly, still trying to figure it out. I talked to one of my professors here about it, I've asked the parents, I've talked to my pastor. This is a huge chasm God has put in front of me, and I'll reach the top (or jump down, depending on where the chasm is relatively speaking). All I know is that forgiving is necessary and totally possible. For God forgives us constantly. He has granted us the ability to do the same. So, why not learn how to flex that muscle? On to the great adventure!
Woo!
Mary Taylor
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