Freshman year of college, I found it especially difficult to transition from a familiar world where I knew tons of people, to this strange world where I knew virtually no one. Sure, the university is only about two hours away from home and, actually, a lot of the students from my high school go there. However, I was on my own to make my own friends and do stuff on my own. It left a weird taste in my mouth.
Clearly, I didn't want to give a bad first impression. I remember at home, my father and brother being pretty big advocates for self-deprecating humor and being totally humble and modest. So, in that sort of spirit, I made sure I did good work, but made sure not to take credit for it. Even if I knew it was my best work I could do at the time and knew that, in fact, it was pretty good (if I do say so myself), I was to be totally embarrassed and say things like "oh, you're too kind" or "no, that wasn't that good." Not to fish for compliments, but so that I appeared humble and modest. I don't want to seem arrogant, now do I?
It wasn't too long until all of that knowing-I-was-doing-my-best-work-and-not-taking-credit-for-it took a toll on my self confidence. Turns out, when you tell yourself you're not good enough, you start to believe it. Strange, right? I know.
But then, second semester of Freshman year, I discovered the best invention since sliced bread. RuPaul's Drag Race. RuPaul, being the most famous drag queen in the world, hosting a reality game show in which 14 drag queens from around the world (primarily U.S. and Puerto Rico) compete to win the title of America's Drag Superstar. And in the first few moments of this beautiful, shining, bright, wonderful world, I discovered the glory of drag queens.
I was in awe. First, being a huge hair and makeup fan, was astounded by their ability to make the manliest of man look like a gorgeous woman. Then I noticed something. No matter the size, shape, talent, look, no matter what, they believed through and through that they were THE MOST AMAZING! Not so much arrogance, but just believing they were so fierce and amazing. Awesome, right? Like, even the bigger queens showed their curves and were proud to do so. They all pounded the runway and knew they were gorgeous.
At the end of every episode, after sending a queen home, Ru would say "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love someone else? Can I get an amen?" And like we were in a Baptist church in the deep south, everyone on stage (and I) would scream "AMEN!!!" Because it's true! Love starts with you. You have to know you're worth loving. You have to know you help make all of the good in your life. Sure, half of it is the people surrounding you, but the other half (and more) is you.
Jesus was all-loving. He loved all. He loves all. He knows the importance of truth to self and loving yourself. Not just yourself. But using that love to love all of those around you. He was not arrogant, but he was truthful. He knew his importance, for through his love, we are loved. If Jesus was self-deprecating and was filled with false modesty, we'd be following a different guy. I guarantee it.
So, if you do your best work and people tell you how awesome it is, take credit for it. Say "Thank you." Ask for ways to make it better if you're not totally happy with it. Don't bother filling yourself and the space around you with negativity saying things like "It's not all that great." It doesn't help the person commenting on it and doesn't help you whatsoever. Love yourself, love what you do, and love those around you. It's vital. For if you can't love yourself, how are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?
Amen!
Mary Taylor
RuPaul is my spirit animal.
Clearly, I didn't want to give a bad first impression. I remember at home, my father and brother being pretty big advocates for self-deprecating humor and being totally humble and modest. So, in that sort of spirit, I made sure I did good work, but made sure not to take credit for it. Even if I knew it was my best work I could do at the time and knew that, in fact, it was pretty good (if I do say so myself), I was to be totally embarrassed and say things like "oh, you're too kind" or "no, that wasn't that good." Not to fish for compliments, but so that I appeared humble and modest. I don't want to seem arrogant, now do I?
It wasn't too long until all of that knowing-I-was-doing-my-best-work-and-not-taking-credit-for-it took a toll on my self confidence. Turns out, when you tell yourself you're not good enough, you start to believe it. Strange, right? I know.
But then, second semester of Freshman year, I discovered the best invention since sliced bread. RuPaul's Drag Race. RuPaul, being the most famous drag queen in the world, hosting a reality game show in which 14 drag queens from around the world (primarily U.S. and Puerto Rico) compete to win the title of America's Drag Superstar. And in the first few moments of this beautiful, shining, bright, wonderful world, I discovered the glory of drag queens.
I was in awe. First, being a huge hair and makeup fan, was astounded by their ability to make the manliest of man look like a gorgeous woman. Then I noticed something. No matter the size, shape, talent, look, no matter what, they believed through and through that they were THE MOST AMAZING! Not so much arrogance, but just believing they were so fierce and amazing. Awesome, right? Like, even the bigger queens showed their curves and were proud to do so. They all pounded the runway and knew they were gorgeous.
At the end of every episode, after sending a queen home, Ru would say "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love someone else? Can I get an amen?" And like we were in a Baptist church in the deep south, everyone on stage (and I) would scream "AMEN!!!" Because it's true! Love starts with you. You have to know you're worth loving. You have to know you help make all of the good in your life. Sure, half of it is the people surrounding you, but the other half (and more) is you.
Jesus was all-loving. He loved all. He loves all. He knows the importance of truth to self and loving yourself. Not just yourself. But using that love to love all of those around you. He was not arrogant, but he was truthful. He knew his importance, for through his love, we are loved. If Jesus was self-deprecating and was filled with false modesty, we'd be following a different guy. I guarantee it.
So, if you do your best work and people tell you how awesome it is, take credit for it. Say "Thank you." Ask for ways to make it better if you're not totally happy with it. Don't bother filling yourself and the space around you with negativity saying things like "It's not all that great." It doesn't help the person commenting on it and doesn't help you whatsoever. Love yourself, love what you do, and love those around you. It's vital. For if you can't love yourself, how are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?
Amen!
Mary Taylor
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